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Once upon a
time there was a lawyer who lived her whole life without ever taking
advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made sure that
every job she did resulted in a win-win situation. One day while walking
down the street she was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul
arrived in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter
himself.
"Welcome to
Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though it seems we have
a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a lawyer make it
this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem,
just let me in," said the lawyer. "Well, I'd like to, but I have
higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a
day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an
eternity in."
"Actually, I
think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in Heaven."
"Sorry, we
have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the lawyer in an elevator and it
went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the lawyer found herself
stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the
distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her
friends--fellow lawyers that she had worked with and they were all dressed
in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both
cheeks and they talked about old times.
They played
an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she
enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was
actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling
jokes and dancing. The lawyer was having such a good time that before she
knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as
she got on the elevator.
The elevator
went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter
waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven." So the lawyer
spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and
singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up
and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've
spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity." The lawyer
paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I
mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time
in Hell."
So St. Peter
escorted her to the elevator and again the lawyer went down-down-down back
to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing
in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends
were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in
sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't
understand," stammered the lawyer. "Yesterday I was here and there was a
golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a
great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look
miserable."
The Devil
looked at her and smiled. "That's because yesterday you were a recruit, but
today you're an associate." |