A Frenchman, an Englishman and an Irishman were captured by cannibals. The chief tells them, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief hands him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.

Then the Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The Irishman says, "Gimme a fork!" On hearing this the chief is puzzled but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Irishman takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Soon there is blood gushing out all over, and it is horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"
And the Irishman responds, "So much for your canoe, you stupid cannibal!